Marriage without children - how to deal with infertility in a relationship?.
Having offspring at some point in a couple's life can become a desire and a dream to expand the family. Unfortunately, getting pregnant can be problematic and time-consuming. What should you do if you cannot have children? Is a marriage without them likely to succeed? We suggest how to deal with infertility and related relationship crises.
What to do if you can't have children?
The lack of children in a marriage can become a reason for arguments and misunderstandings between partners. Although they both want the same thing, failures and failed pregnancies can stir up intense emotions. Infertility treatment can last for many months or even years, which can add to the spouses' uncertainty and shared bitterness. When the message falls: "I can't have children", it can be a test of endurance for many relationships.
How to deal with such a situation? First of all, it is worth remembering that infertility can only be a temporary condition. Modern medicine means that treatment and persistent attempts offer a real chance of getting pregnant. However, this is a process that takes time, which is why it is so important to support each other and not lose hope.
How can the lack of children in a marriage affect partners?
When efforts to have a baby have been going on for many months and the desired pregnancy has not yet appeared, tension can arise between partners in a relationship. Growing frustration in turn leads to a search for someone to blame. Be very careful here - accusing each other of the cause of the failure will only make the relationship worse.
A much better option is to visit the doctor together and check the most common causes of infertility. Diagnosis allows you to detect the factors that make it difficult to get pregnant and to take the appropriate steps.
Complications related to trying for a child can also result in bitterness. The prospect of being hindered from realising the dream of expanding the family can be overwhelming.
Marriage crisis caused by infertility
The desire to free oneself from an oppressive situation can cause a crisis in the marriage. The spouses may be less and less willing to spend time together, there may be more frequent arguments or, on the contrary, an emotional cooling.
Infertility and depression
In some cases, infertility can lead to a lowering of mood and even to depressive states. If you notice such episodes in yourself or your partner, it is essential that you try to ensure that the other person is supported. In difficult cases, it is also worth considering seeing a psychologist who can show you how to cope with this difficult situation.
Marriage without children - how to maintain a healthy relationship?
Observe each other consciously, be understanding to each other like best friends. Maintain the bond and fuel your love by committing to the relationship. Even simple daily gestures expressing affection will be a good step. Also consider a short trip during which you can change the "we can't have children" to: "we love each other in spite of everything". Relaxation will allow you to rest and recuperate for further treatment.
Trust and conversation
How to improve marital relationships and prevent relationship breakdown? Support, trust and conversation are key. It is worth opening up to the other person and allowing each other's emotions to be honest. Unsuccessful attempts to get pregnant can be accompanied by feelings of disappointment, pain and loss - don't stop them! Share your fears and thoughts with your partner, and don't be afraid to cry and feel sad too. Releasing your emotions will allow you to shed your burden, maintain your mental health, and further strengthen your bond.
Infertility is not a sentence
The news of a couple's infertility diagnosis can be a difficult time for a relationship. Therefore, think together about what you can do to take care of your relationship from the beginning. It is worth looking at the situation objectively, although it is certainly difficult. Remember, however, that infertility is a transitional stage and in many relationships a long-awaited offspring does appear.
According to data collected by the Polish Society of Gynaecology, approximately 1.5 million couples in Poland have problems getting pregnant. The World Health Organisation, on the other hand, reports that worldwide, approximately 15% of the population of reproductive age face a similar problem. It is worth being aware of the scale of the phenomenon. This will help you realise that you are not alone and that childless marriages are relatively common.
How else to ensure healthy relationships? Actively seek solutions while giving yourself time to try more methods. Action will make you feel more confident and increase your chances of having the pregnancy you want. Remember also to share your thoughts, talk freely about your fears and emotions and, above all, support each other and be in it together.
Substantive consultation:
MA Agata Pypłacz - Psychologist