I'm going to be a mum....

My name is Aneta and I have been a mother to little Ola for three years. I hesitated for a long time to tell my story, the story of my happiness, because it wouldn't have been possible if it hadn't been for egg cell adoption. However, I think that in this case it was not the way, but the goal that was most important - to become a mum!

When I was 32, my husband and I started trying for a baby. After about eight months of unsuccessful attempts, we went to the doctor. The diagnosis was merciless - premature menopause. My ovaries had stopped working. I couldn't believe it. I questioned it. I went from doctor to doctor. From clinic to clinic. However, further tests left no illusions. When I heard that I would not be able to have children I felt as if the ground beneath me had cracked and I was falling into a huge abyss.

I felt very sorry for myself. I felt angry that I had downplayed all the symptoms... Then I realised what the irregular periods and slightly larger happy tyres around my waist meant. Why wasn't this something that particularly bothered me! I reproached myself. I found out that the contraceptive pills I had been taking long before we started trying for a baby might have caused the symptoms to ease.

The doctor who gave me the final diagnosis also told me that my husband and I should not give up in our efforts to have a baby. She informed me about the possibility of egg cell adoption. When I asked what this was, the doctor said that it was a method of in vitro fertilisation using another woman's egg cell, which is fertilised with my husband's sperm. Finally, I was given the details of several infertility clinics operating in Warsaw which use this method.

At first I didn't know what to think of this method. I was battling with my thoughts. I think at the time it was fear brought on by the completely irrational thought that 'it won't be my baby after all'. I couldn't sleep. I was battling with my thoughts. Today I regret that I was stuck in this alone for so long, that I didn't talk to my husband or a psychologist about it. It took me several months to get to the point where I sought help from my partner. And it was so easy. I regretted it again. This time that I had wasted so much time. Because when I told my husband about my doubts, he just hugged me and said something very important - You will do as you wish, you just need to know that you will be the mother of this child, no one else. You are the one who will carry it under your heart for 9 months. You are the one who will give up your job, your beloved red wine and Friday night sushi for him. You are the one who will feel the fear of maintaining the pregnancy, the anxiety before every ultrasound. In the end, you will be the one giving birth. Darling, it's not the genes that will make you a mother, it's the dedication and love you will bestow on your child.

I fell in love with him all over again. I also remembered why it is with him that I want to have a child. Why he will be a great dad.

Less than a week later we went to the IVF clinic. The whole procedure turned out to be very friendly. During the selection of the egg for adoption, despite the anonymity of the donor herself, I was able to get a lot of information such as her appearance, whether she had already given birth to a healthy baby, etc. My husband and I made the choice and started the IVF procedure. After three months, we were already sitting in the ultrasound room and, with tears in our eyes, listening to Ola's heartbeat for the first time.

My initial fears turned out to be completely unfounded. I understood very quickly that the child growing up inside me was part of me. When, after nine months of pregnancy, I finally heard her first cry, I no longer had any doubts. I knew that from then on, she would be the most important person in my life, for whom I was responsible, and whom I would love unconditionally forever. Today, when she sometimes comes to our bed at night, lies down next to me and, cuddled up, peacefully falls asleep, then I know that I am the most important person for her too, that I am her mum.