Emotions after failed IVF.

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At InviMed clinics, 54% IVF cycles result in the birth of a baby. Unfortunately, not everyone succeeds immediately. Some couples need a second and subsequent approach to get pregnant. When they find out about the failure, they feel helplessness, grief, anger... It is a difficult moment. A moment when it is important to treat emotions with great respect - to give yourself time to experience them.

InviMed clinics boast a very high success rate in infertility treatment. As many as 54% IVF cycles end in pregnancy and a happy outcome. However, it is important to note that the remaining 46% of IVF cycles do not end in the birth of a child. What then? Some fall into numbness, others are flooded with emotion. - It is extremely important at this point to take a moment to reflect and to give yourself the space and time to relive the feelings that accompany the couple in relation to the loss. It is important to give yourself time to recover and not to expect that this will happen in a split second, that these emotions will disappear at the snap of a finger - says Dorota Gawlikowska, psychologist and psychotherapist supporting patients of the infertility treatment clinic InviMed Warszawa.

Not only loss and disappointmentWhat emotions accompany a failed attempt at pregnancy? They are usually disappointment, pain, grief, sadness, depression, but also helplessness or a feeling of helplessness. It may be less obvious to feel anger, anxiety or jealousy, but these feelings also accompany infertile couples after treatment failure, regardless of how the man and woman tried to get pregnant. In the case of a failed IVF cycle, an additional spectrum of emotions comes into play.

The greater intensity of the experiences and their wider range are due, among other things, to the fact that the IVF procedure itself, as a method of treating infertility, is often wrongly regarded as a last resort - a last chance to have a child. Social pressure and the presentation of IVF as a controversial method also contribute to the extremity of emotions. Usually, pressure mobilises, but the greater the pressure, the more negative emotions can accompany a possible failure.

In addition, remember that IVF is not reimbursed, so its total cost is covered by the couple trying to have a child. Admittedly, in some cities it is possible to apply for a subsidy for the IVF procedure, but it does not cover all the costs and not every couple has a chance for it. Therefore, an unsuccessful procedure is also associated with a sense of financial loss, and the next attempt is another investment.

After an unsuccessful IVF attempt, the media are not helping either in calming down emotions and in returning to a healthy approach to the goal of conceiving a child. Many of them promote myths and a completely unspiritual image of this infertility treatment method. Some highlight the religious aspects, while others accuse couples who opt for IVF of fighting nature or wanting to have a super offspring, a child with any combination of genetic traits, with a choice of gender, eye colour and intelligence quotient.

Being a patient, it is difficult to find yourself in this. All the myths that have grown up around in vitro are most striking for those who do not succeed in conceiving a child either naturally or by the in vitro method. Many people lack clear, reliable knowledge about infertility treatment, including in vitro methods, and for this reason, among others, the difficult emotions after a failed attempt become even more difficult, and this does not make it easier to cope with failure and delays recovery.

How to deal with emotions after failed IVF? In experiencing the loss that failed IVF represents for a couple, it is important to remember that it is a method of infertility treatment only and as much as a method of infertility treatment. It is a method that can be repeated many times, and repetition is what determines its effectiveness in many situations. It is worth bearing this in mind when IVF treatment has not resulted in pregnancy, but also when the couple is just preparing for their first procedure. Many difficult experiences can be avoided as long as one does not assume that IVF is super effective and guarantees pregnancy. - A realistic attitude to IVF as a treatment method and having reliable, verified information about it allows you to survive an unsuccessful procedure in a smoother way, assures psychologist Dorota Gawlikowska.

Since 1987, some 8.5 million children have already been born through IVF. Most of them were not born after the first attempt. Only in recent years has the success rate of IVF in the first cycle exceeded 50%. At InviMed, an average of 6 out of 10 couples become happy parents after the first IVF cycle, and the next two cycles show a slightly lower success rate, with between 43% and 50% of them resulting in the birth of a child.

Regardless of the cause of the difficulties, where a couple feels that the emotions accompanying a failed IVF procedure are very strong and last for more than a few or even a dozen days, it is worthwhile to take advantage of a psychological consultation. Professionals supporting couples struggling with infertility help not only to deal with the pain, but also to gain a new perspective and motivation. - Instead of wallowing in guilt, analysing whether we have definitely made a mistake or getting angry at ourselves for trifles, it is much better to take care of yourself and your hurt feelings. Taking care of them allows you to deal with a difficult situation more quickly and better prepare you for further efforts, says InviMed expert Dorota Gawlikowska.

At InviMed, we know that infertility treatment can be a war and anyone who picks themselves up after losing a battle is a hero - we are proud of our patients! If you have a proven way of recovering, or can share your experiences and give encouragement to those who have so far failed to achieve their dream of having a child, please feel free to comment.