If your loved ones are experiencing infertility... Here are some tips on how to behave.

1. try to learn as much as possible about the disease of male and female infertility

Books and publications can be helpful here, but also websites (e.g. Our Stork Association: www.nasz-bocian.pl). Infertile couples experience both a health and an emotional crisis. It is accompanied by a sense of widespread loss and disappointment. Such a state affects professional life and relationships. Added to this is the pressure of passing time, affecting the couple's chances of parenthood. For this reason, do not try to downplay their problem. Do not avoid difficult topics or resort to superficial consolation with statements such as "everything will be fine". Do not give advice unless it is asked for. Don't interfere with what the couple is going through by taking sides, making accusations or expectations of anyone.

2. Be open and sensitive to the experiences of your loved ones

Female infertility and men are accompanied by pain, stress and fear about whether the dream of expanding their family will be realised. It is difficult to find the right words to support them. Sometimes you don't know whether it is better to say something or to keep quiet. Therefore, in such a situation, ask your loved ones about their needs and expectations. Simply asking "how can I help you?" can work wonders. Sometimes it is enough to remember and stay in touch. It is also worth bearing in mind that there are worse and better moments in infertility treatment. After a miscarriage, a failed IVF attempt or during unpleasant medical procedures, it is worth caring more about the wellbeing of loved ones by asking about their needs and showing interest.

3. Support your loved ones

Don't assume you know what it means to experience infertility in practice. Ask what they themselves find most helpful and useful. Be willing to listen and accept your loved ones as they are, but also be open to other forms of help, such as giving them a lift in the car to an examination or helping them look after an older child. Also avoid asking questions that may be uncomfortable or hurtful: "have you thought about infertility treatment yet?", "how is it going?", "have you considered adoption?". This can put unnecessary pressure on the couple. Definitely avoid consolations like "it could always be worse", "at least you are healthy".

4. Emphasise the importance and role of the infertile couple in the family

Support their involvement with the family, family gatherings and spending time together. Whether we want it or not, our loved ones' infertility becomes part of the family story and how we deal with such difficulties is and will remain part of our legacy, which will affect all family members. Don't exclude them from family events, wish them well on important occasions, treat them equally with other family members. Like any difficult event, infertility can both strengthen and weaken a family. It is therefore worth ensuring that it brings us closer together.

5. Be mindful of the mental health of loved ones

Women and men experiencing infertility often feel very isolated from their friends and society at large. Some even feel inferior to others. Women sometimes find it difficult to go out shopping and walk past a baby shop or go to a café and see pregnant women or mothers with babies. Such a sight can exacerbate their depression and feelings of isolation. Just as hard for them to bear is the realisation that their loved ones have already managed to expand their family and had no problem doing so. In such situations, one has to be careful about what one says. Boasting about your family life in their presence can be blatant. In addition, avoid empty advice such as "you need to take it easy", "your time will definitely come", "you will soon be 

6. Be gentle and attentive

Pay attention to what you say, especially where family gatherings and child-related celebrations are involved. Also, don't complain about your own experiences of pregnancy or parenthood - this will not be a comfort to the infertile couple. Help other family members, especially older people and young mums, to understand the needs of the infertile couple and offer your loved ones struggling with infertility the freedom to attend such gatherings. If you have additional questions, you can ask the psychologists at the InviMed clinics. They are on duty free of charge every Monday from 7:30 - 8:30 p.m. at 882 938 505. For more information about psychological support in infertility treatment, please visit here.