Every couple who starts trying for a baby dreams of achieving their goal quickly. After all, both she and he have already made the decision that they are ready to become parents. There is excitement, impatience... However, when the waiting time for the desired offspring alarmingly increases, and in-depth tests and infertility treatment procedures come into play, difficult emotions begin to play an increasingly important role on the stage of life. How to deal with them? What can be done to ensure that this is not a prominent role?

Prolonged efforts to have a child and long-term infertility treatment are emotionally challenging for any couple. Usually at the beginning of the journey, both the woman and the man hope that their difficulties will soon be over and they will soon enjoy motherhood and fatherhood. They know and understand that they need to seek the help of specialists at an infertility clinic, but they hope that a few tests, some medication and in a few months they will already be expecting the birth of a child. Even then, however, the happy ending may not come too soon.

A protracted struggle with infertilityTreating infertility in a specialist clinic means a wide range of options. For some, a change in diet or hormone regulation is enough, others need to go another step or even two further. Even if, during treatment, it turns out that the couple needs to use more advanced treatment methods, such as insemination or IVF, they usually still hope that one procedure is enough and their child will soon be born. They believe in the progress of medicine and the effectiveness of advanced methods. Unfortunately, these do not always turn out to be as effective as they expect. They often have to wait much longer for the child they want, and one, two or three IVF cycles may not be enough. - The waiting, the subsequent tests, the successive methods and procedures evoke many emotions in the couple, often difficult, sometimes contradictory. On the one hand, they need to rebuild hope, which dims with each failed attempt. On the other hand, they should ask themselves difficult questions, for example whether they are ready to use the programme of egg cell or sperm adoption from a donor,' says Dorota Gawlikowska, a psychologist and psychotherapist who supports patients at the InviMed Warsaw clinic.

Even more frustrationThe psychological burden of infertility treatment is already heavy, and there are also external factors. Often couples have friends in their company who are about to become parents at a similar age. Seamlessly, just like that. This also brings pain and misunderstanding. The couple, in making the effort, often subordinates their lives to it. They cannot plan a holiday, change their job or place of residence, because the new responsibilities could hinder treatment or limit the availability of procedures. If the couple is reluctant to disclose to loved ones that they are struggling with infertility, there can also be a sense of loneliness in the struggle. However, the greatest sense of frustration comes when it feels like life is slipping away and we still can't wait to have offspring. The feeling of helplessness can then seriously disrupt the life we have had so far In such circumstances, a woman and a man are entitled to feel tired and sometimes exhausted, both physically and mentally.

Reach out for a helping handWhen infertility treatment is prolonged and you feel increasing frustration, it is worth reaching out for external support, preferably the help of a psychologist. Couples often lack ideas on how to cope with stress, pressure and powerlessness. They don't know what else to do to help themselves. How to take the burden of successive failed attempts off their shoulders. They can't help themselves, because they have exhausted their set of methods, and these the qualified professional has in abundance. Relatives, even if they are doing their best to support the trying couple, may also be tired and helpless by now. - At such a point, it is already worth taking advantage of the available forms of support and assistance from specialists who work with couples struggling with this problem on a daily basis, concludes Dorota Gawlikowska.

Psychological support at InviMedPsychologists specialising in infertility can usually be found at infertility clinics. - At InviMed, couples can benefit from individual psychological consultations. At our clinic, one such consultation is free of charge for each couple undergoing treatment. It can be taken together or individually if either partner does not feel ready for a visit. Couples also have the opportunity to take advantage of free psycho-educational workshops," suggests Gawlikowska. At the InviMed Warsaw clinic, such workshops are held every month. They mainly concern coping with failures during infertility treatment ('How not to lose hope?') and supporting each other as a couple during treatment ('She and he, or how to support each other during infertility treatment?'). Participation in the support group meetings held at the clinic is also a very effective form of help. The group is made up of people who are struggling with infertility and who therefore best understand the difficulties experienced by the couple trying. There is therefore the opportunity to receive support from those who best understand the problem and are willing to share their experiences with others in a similar situation.

Something different for everyoneIt is important for each person or couple to be able to choose the form of support that is most convenient for them, be it individual or group. Perhaps a support group will be more accessible for a woman, and individual therapy for a man. A couple might, for example, prefer to meet in a small group, only with a psychologist. The methods, however, are the least important. What really matters is to stop thinking that infertility has to be dealt with alone, or that support and help are for the weak. Treatment is not a test of our strength, endurance or resourcefulness. Sometimes the greatest proof of a person's strength is the willingness to face difficulties and the ability to reach out for support at the right moment.

Do you have a problem reaching out for help? Or are you the one reaching out? Share your experience with us in a comment on this article. Perhaps you will inspire others.